Little details open up the connection between you the other and the world. Just observe and apply. Learn to read the vocabulary and grammar.
Let us be clear and honest. We want comfort and wellbeing. Some people want to be meaningful, other just â€˜happyâ€™ as they are. At any rate we want to connect. Get â€˜rapportâ€™, the phase where acceptance steps in and we are sharing. The goals is the connecting, from there on the journey begins.
â€˜The happiest baby on the blockâ€™, is a book and dvd by Dr John Harrington, is nice for many parents. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2130576/How-5-Ss-stop-newborn-crying.html. Tips how to communicate with a baby that is crying. Is worthwhile checking out.
Buttons and the control centre:
Are there control buttons? Is there more or less a remote control? Or even inside you a device? In the world of marketing there seem to be, lots of peoples choices are based on that. So can we get in control in communicating?
We know that there are many people who are not really doing the â€˜integrityâ€™ thing, purposely or not.
Me myself, as one of my friends said (:â€œYou keep on trusting people on their wordsâ€™), want to trust people. Obviously I have had my share of disappointment, the â€˜school of lifeâ€™ as they call it. Master that button, came to be my attention.
In this so called â€˜economical crisesâ€™ situation, we notice strange and unpleasant behaviour by many. People becoming not trustworthy, under the pressure of the peer group; the financial situation; or other forms of insecurity. They loose the most important gift: observation and connecting to what is happening.
History provides lots of examples of nasty lies.
Jezus. Julius Ceasar, in sports, politics, in science and of course in relationships.The ‘do not blame me’ culture was born.
A white lie is useful, but a purposeful lie destroys trust, love and lives in many situations.
We know, give somebody a task and uniform (Salomon Ash and Millgram test) and lots of people create the strange urge to overact in the new â€˜authorityâ€™ role.
Obviously it is not smart to work together â€“and trust- someone who did promotion in â€˜cognitive dissonanceâ€™. It becomes his nature.
Do you hear somebody over and over say: â€œI will Never, do such â€¦ a thing!â€™. Oeps be on guard! They leave children, lovers, animals and friends and hop on to the next.
Of course you and many others search for â€˜the whyâ€™, as many victims do; most often a decent conversation in due time clears the air. But often the perpetrator dissolves in a new peergroup and lives on.
Better is it to observe, watch and pay attention in the very moment. Sense the (non)verbal vocabulary and grammar. Learn to read what you notice and sense. Movies are made based on such â€˜ cultural archetypesâ€™. (they can be changed!!) Doctors measure the blood pressure and search in the system.
Congruency, observation and lies are issues. Cool is: we have the means to check. Simple movements, words, gestures. Funny? Not really. On the negative side it is an invasion of our relationships. In the bases you do not want to be there. Useful? Depends on your intention and perception.
Let us look at the other side approach: I saw this nice ted talk. Liespotting by Pamela Meyer
There is a slide danger, that we more and more have to monitor and live out of preventing trouble. Internet is an example. On a wider scale we see the NSA. As long as you act normal, no problem. On the other hand the web 3.0 is condition us on the choices we made in the past.
Use the knowledge and turn the techniques from â€˜liespottingâ€™ into useful means to connect and get back into rapport (acceptance on a unconscious level). Let your intention be a warm one. That is required.
In our every day live we want to trust somebody on their bleu eyes. They support everything with words and gestures. The lovely blue eyes that look at you in warmth and with deepest connection. Often… tragedy …afterwards turning words and statements.
Although there might be disappointment, pain even. My suggestion is that you keep on going the faith. Trust the connection that was and is. Your â€˜gut feelingâ€™ will in long run often prove to be right. Notice that the circumstances are very very important. Cultivate the warmth. Use the means, grammar and vocabulary to be perfect in the roles you play. Connect. Everybody does the best possible with the means they have in any given situation. Reconnect over and over again.
You are a baby
At the very end, we all are crying babies at times, searching for the way to express what we want. In search for connection and feeling of being worthwhile.
Find the control buttons within yourself (emotional state) and others.
Connect and share love. Work and live together.